you made uncertainty feel like a kind of peace. there’s something so real about admitting you’re tired of being the one who knows. i felt seen in this—deeply.
From a very heterosexual guy’s perspective… this is spot on. And I’ll be damned if I don’t speak up.
A woman who writes with this kind of clarity and wit….that’s someone I want in my life. In any capacity. Friend, muse, co-conspirator, lifeline. And just to be clear: I’m not one of those “friend zone” types. I’m fully capable of being deeply attracted to a woman and still valuing her company, her thoughts, her presence, without it being about getting somewhere.
When that kind of connection exists, the air shifts. It’s not about sex. That part’s already understood, quietly and mutually. The barrier that so often clouds male-female dynamics disappears, and what’s left is something rare: clean energy. Mutual respect. Real companionship.
Now, as for the advice thing? God, yes. It’s like some paradoxical curse. The emotionally aware ones…. the ones who actually listen, and offer thoughtful, grounded advice….we tend to be the ones watching from the sidelines as the people we care about swan-dive back into disaster. Almost like clockwork. It’s brutal, but there’s truth in it.
What you wrote hit hard because it’s not bitter. It’s lucid. It’s self-aware. And yeah — watching the mess from a safe distance, learning without the scars? That’s not evil. That’s wisdom.
Anyway, I’m not here to impress. I just wanted to say thank you for putting something out there that reminded me I’m not the only one thinking this way.
thank you so much for sharing your thoughts about this, J. i appreciate you so much. it’s still unbelievable for me to know that i could connect to people on substack from different background, having the same experiences like mine. thanks for confirming that it was not evil for me to play safe hahaha i needed that after i posted this tbh. love yah! <3
and that’s honestly the worst part. i actually can’t even remember one single time someone gave ME advice. it's always me giving, never the other way around. and the fact that they don't even listen?? IT'S SO DRAINING. why would you even ask then??
you made uncertainty feel like a kind of peace. there’s something so real about admitting you’re tired of being the one who knows. i felt seen in this—deeply.
Sooooo beautiful twinny!!!
we gotta keep it real twinny.. thank you <3
Hey Aster…. I had to say something.
From a very heterosexual guy’s perspective… this is spot on. And I’ll be damned if I don’t speak up.
A woman who writes with this kind of clarity and wit….that’s someone I want in my life. In any capacity. Friend, muse, co-conspirator, lifeline. And just to be clear: I’m not one of those “friend zone” types. I’m fully capable of being deeply attracted to a woman and still valuing her company, her thoughts, her presence, without it being about getting somewhere.
When that kind of connection exists, the air shifts. It’s not about sex. That part’s already understood, quietly and mutually. The barrier that so often clouds male-female dynamics disappears, and what’s left is something rare: clean energy. Mutual respect. Real companionship.
Now, as for the advice thing? God, yes. It’s like some paradoxical curse. The emotionally aware ones…. the ones who actually listen, and offer thoughtful, grounded advice….we tend to be the ones watching from the sidelines as the people we care about swan-dive back into disaster. Almost like clockwork. It’s brutal, but there’s truth in it.
What you wrote hit hard because it’s not bitter. It’s lucid. It’s self-aware. And yeah — watching the mess from a safe distance, learning without the scars? That’s not evil. That’s wisdom.
Anyway, I’m not here to impress. I just wanted to say thank you for putting something out there that reminded me I’m not the only one thinking this way.
~J
thank you so much for sharing your thoughts about this, J. i appreciate you so much. it’s still unbelievable for me to know that i could connect to people on substack from different background, having the same experiences like mine. thanks for confirming that it was not evil for me to play safe hahaha i needed that after i posted this tbh. love yah! <3
i can feel the rage!! very well said aaaa
they need to feel it too!! aaaaa
I GET IT SO MUCH. it makes me so mad every single time, i hate it. but i love how you captured it!!! amazing 🤍🤍🫶
we hate it coz we actually care for them. let’s not forget ourselves on these situations as well ;) thanksss
and that’s honestly the worst part. i actually can’t even remember one single time someone gave ME advice. it's always me giving, never the other way around. and the fact that they don't even listen?? IT'S SO DRAINING. why would you even ask then??
wait i just realized me too, can’t remember someone gave me advice lol imagine how tired we are.
LITERALLY.