after films: before trilogy (part 1)

where love starts with a conversation, not a kiss.

if there’s one movie series that feels like a long personal letter to me, it’s the before trilogy. i didn’t grow up watching it. in fact, i only saw it first in 2023. but the moment it ended, it was like something had been unlocked inside me.

i always say this to people: if i had parents in another universe, it would be jesse and céline. not coz they’re responsible or put-together. girl they’re not. but bcoz the reflect all the tiny bits of me i’ve never seen mirrored anywhere else. in the way they talk. the way the process things. the way they fall in love. not loudly, but honestly.

this is the first entry of after films, a mini series where i reflect on the movies that left a mark on me. not a review. not a summary. just the aftermath.

before sunrise 1995

i never felt so in love after watching this. it was a slow burn, yet it hit me fast. the connection between jesse and céline felt like magic, but not the disney kind, it was real, unfiltered, and so specific. their conversations reminded me that intimacy isn’t always about touch. sometimes, it’s about curiosity. about seeing someone and wanting to know what’s in their mind.

btw i would’ve gotten off that train too coz jesse’s hot lol

before sunset 2004

this was the one that broke me. older, wiser, but still just as unresolved. watching them walk and talk again, older and a bit more jaded, made me ache. so much time lost. so many almosts. céline’s anger felt like mine, built up from silence. jesse’s sadness felt like every person who pretended to move on but never really did. it was the softest kind of heartbreak. the most honest form of longing. and yet, there was still that spark. they still found each other, even if it was too late.

before midnight 2013

and then we see what happens after the happy ending. the real part. the one that no one shows you. the arguments. the exhaustion. the fears. it was heartbreaking at first to watch them argue. but then again, it made sense. this trilogy never wanted to sell us a dream. it wanted to show us what happens when the dream grows old. love that survives isn’t always pretty. sometimes, survival looks like staying. like choosing each other even after the fire’s gone out. and that’s what love really is for me.

the before trilogy feels like home to me. in their long conversations and quiet walks, i see myself. jesse’s need to turn every moment into a story. céline’s overthinking and emotional spirals. it’s like they split my personality and gave it dialogue. i call them my movie parents because they embody the emotional dna i never knew i inherited. watching them made me feel seen in the most specific way. they gave shape to the way i process life, love, and everything in between. they made me believe in the power of a single moment, of a single conversation, of saying yes to a stranger, and how that can change everything. i may never experience that kind of love with someone, but i’ll always be grateful to them for letting me witness it through them. they didn’t just teach me about love. they made me feel it, fully.

xoxo,

aster

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